Sunday, October 19, 2014

Happy Birthday to Me

My 45th birthday came and went, but something was different this year and I found out two days after my 45th that another life was being added to mine. In 14 weeks or so I will be having another baby boy.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The Mother Daughter Relationship

There isn't much else that is more complex as the mother daughter relationship. It is a continuing thing from generation to generation.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Learning Disabled or Learning ability

Friday, May 23, 2014

And so it goes, for the child who is told you learn differently. You are ahead of the game because you are already outside the box that society will try to put you in. Finding who and what and where and how you want to learn is something that society will try to dictate to you. Finding what works for you is a journey. For me, writing it down works, but others might not understand what I am saying. Do you want me to explain? Lead, follow, or get the **** out of the way, is an old Army saying, it pretty much is a philosophy that I have embraced. I'm going to be me, I'm too old to stop my brain from thinking so I may as well say it.

Years of wondering why I wasn't learning as fast (memorizing) was diagnosed when I was 16. I knew I had an issue when I was 5. I also didn't care, I just wanted to be left alone. Was it important that I memorize everything, or knew where to get the answers. For me, knowing I could find the answers became my quest. I didn't want to be the one figuring out the answers but being able to say that is the answer.

I didn't like reading. Observation of animals was more my thing, exploring and learning about the world was my life. I differed from other family members this way but if there was a book about animals I read it. I learned to read by reading the Bible for family devotions and the upper room. Once we switched to animal stories my interest in knowing what happened next helped in my liking of books.

I would struggle through school. The first time I visited that special room, I was in 4th grade and they said I was brilliant. They said I had no issues. I knew differently I cheated my way through 5th grade, and tried in 6th grade but my teacher caught me, from then on it was on my own often receiving an E which meant effort but failing. School tests were exhausting and took extra tutors in spelling and math to get through it.

Somehow I squeaked by each grade, by my sophomore year I suffered my first nervous breakdown when my brain cracked, trying to learn too much and going through a lot in life also the doctor didn't diagnose me correctly and administered the wrong drugs, almost costing me my freedom to the point it was suggested that I be sent state side. I was living overseas at the time.

My junior year once again I went to the special room at school. This time the testing was intense and hours were spent, but no one could pin point my issues. I could flip letters, put numbers together (having had to learn chinese in 3rd and 4th grade must of helped something because I did learn to see what I feel the rest of the world does.) I often don't think I make any sense because my thinking is different and it is frustrating to explain or sometimes I just don't want to talk, I prefer the silence.

I probably drive the average people nuts with my personal reminders made public in Houston County Home School Happenings and my family calendar. This is how I umm learn, no this is how I remember. I have very little short term memory but a long term memory is weirder than most. I can remember a memory from early ages but what happened yesterday and you are asking my brain to do something it wants to put in the past and move on until three days later or so.

It becomes frustrating to look at something and be told what to be done when I see something that should be done and cause and effect is figured out in my brain but not the other persons. I am not wrong, in what I am saying, it just isn't what is seen by other people, it's just the way my brain works. It scatters and must sit down to write a list and then focus with an A,B,C, D plan. For the most part I just let it go and let God, realizing in the end He is the one who knows so much more than anyone. Focusing on the day at hand and what needs to be accomplished gets me through my learning ability.

I used to be the action person, and drive some people at my work bonkers. I no longer am all action, more of a thinker and letting life go, and letting others lead, follow, and often I just get out of the way saying nothing but every once in a while I do remind my family, didn't I tell you.....Letting Go There's Room Enough to Fly....

Thursday, February 13, 2014

You Blinded Me With Science

In 1983 I had a science teacher that taught me both sides of the story or theory of how the world came to be. He was pretty amazing, in that out of the box he found another book that did teach me all about evolution. He was a bit older than the man I would get assigned to the following year. I would not only change schools, I would change worlds and be put into a city, at age 15, I quickly adjusted. I was also alone to get places and do things for the first time in my life. It was an adventure I will never forget, but it would also prepare me to be with two little girls a little more than a decade later. I think about that girl who was 15 and all the things I did those 2 years and the places I went.

 I learned more about the history of Korea then I knew about my own country. My Dad had been there in 1961 and had worked there on and off for as long as I could remember. By 1986 he had finished what he strongly wanted, some fiber optics cable was finally laid between some place and another.

My husband would go there, and  I followed with our daughters in 1997. We were able to see with a camera my father in law at the college he worked at...technology had moved so fast in those 12 years. When I was a 15 often my Dad would bring me to his work early in the morning, and I would talk to a friend in the states. Hello...hello, how are you, how are you....the constant echo of your own voice waiting for the other person to respond was interesting, you'd wait to finally hear the other person on the end of the line.

Nice rabbit trail my brain went on....but it brings me back to science class in school. The teacher I got in 1985-1986 truly believed that the world was put here by evolution and taught me so many theories as fact, like he had been there. He wasn't your old science teacher either, he was a young boyish looking married guy who could of passed for a student. We went head to head with our brains and I often wonder whose brain won. I was taken out of the game with a short circuit of sorts taking a wrong step into his court and trying to see the world with out God in it, while he continued with his class. I would talk to him again in 1997 via my art teacher. Not sure what all either one knew about me, but it was interesting to have to leave at certain times in my life and not know the rest of the story as Paul Harvey puts it.

I often wonder what it is like to live in one place all your life, and see how other people live for your entire life. As my seventh year in this town ends in July...I wonder if there will be an 8th, and what a decade in the same location feels like. Part of me wants to settle down and spend the next how ever long God would have me on this planet in one spot and the other, says OH LET'S PACK, LET'S SEE MORE OF THE WORLD, let's change the location of the silver ware one more time. Then I think just bury it somewhere with a note and let some one else find it. Maybe by then I would be dead but someone else would have it to learn about an adventure.

Just Because Your Cat Has Kittens in the Oven, Doesn't make them Biscuits

Where am I from? It is easy to answer, New Jersey. I visit New Jersey and they say, I am from Georgia. It's simple for them, I no longer live there, I live in Georgia. Ummm.....so when I am in Georgia, I am from New Jersey because I am not from there.

Georgia is so different from any world I have ever lived in. Really there should be a culture education upon entry to this state. Similar to what you get when you live overseas. This is okay, this is offensive.... Hey, we are all Americans. But not all Americans are created equal.

February 1996 I believe is when my journey South began. I arrived here from, Ft. Riley, Kansas and I was pregnant with my second child. I'd spend that year in Augusta, Ga. my little girl would be born there and at 8 months flown to Korea to spend a year. Then return to Ga.

I was educated by a southerner when this kid was an adorable jumping around little girl had her son following her. For me, they were kids and happy playing and running around while he had scouts and she had brownies.

This woman met me in Walmart and educated me that although my daughter was raised in the south particularly Georgia, she wasn't a southerner because "Just Because Your Cat has Kittens in the Oven, doesn't make the Biscuits." I was puzzled, and it dawned on me a while later that the Southern Bitch had just showed me that Georgia born and breed women could be far worse than any woman I had ever dealt with in New Jersey. I was shocked to say the least that my child was considered less than desirable to her as any future relationship. Wow, just wow, as I realized she could be so nice and kind to males from other states but my daughter, had no place near her son.

I never saw America as being so backwards as that day. My daughter is free to like or not like anyone, but I tell her we are called to love all people. That doesn't mean you have to like them, but love them because they are people and part of the human race is something I have taught her over the years. What doesn't like, is important for me to hear and know. I ignored this woman's ignorance and noticed that it wasn't my daughter that had any interest in her son, he would follow her given the opportunity. I was thankful when all relationships halted with this family for reasons of moving on in life.




You get to Live with It

I am not a neighbor type of person. I am not a people person. Rarely do I really want to take the time, energy, and money to form relationships. When I do find people I enjoy, I am there. I am not the military wife. I grew up in that environment but I didn't like it, nor did I want to be part of it. Trying to grasp people and the who, what, where, and when. Getting screwed because someone is a jerk. I just would rather not have to be part of the entire business but 21 years ago, I signed up for that. Later my husband resigned.

Welcome to the semi-civilian world. Finding myself all over again in a world where, I just don't get it, things have to be explained to me that the average person knows about. I am doing better at asking questions and learning.

Stepping out of my comfort zone is living in a neighborhood. I grew up on a semi secluded piece of property where kids flocked but it was my world they were flocking to, so my Mother ruled it. Dealing with living in a neighborhood is a pain in the butt. I have lived in one for six years now, I am still wanting my secluded area. The lack of control over who shows up and I have to deal with so that my kids can play, and ahem yes my older child babysit these children....and then more kids show up. Ummm..... yeah where do I draw the line.

My Mother was pretty good at ruling but she didn't have a huge age gap, and I don't remember incidence happening without my Dad being able to be there. Oh there was the issues, and his way of handling it was to go ahead and spank the bully. I'm with ya Dad, enough is enough, a good swift spanking was well deserved by that kid.

Amazing daughter handles things very well, a huge part of me just wants to continue hibernating in my own little world, but my four year old brings me out into his, once again I am in the sandbox. Watching things form, and watching relationships.

 I get to live with it, my own little world ahem.....it just doesn't take a village dear Mom whose a real pain in the butt supporting her children instead of another adult that has dealt with her children for 5 plus hours and watched as my own daughter babysits an extra child that was thrown at her, (so that this mother and her can go hang out.) while she ditches her annoying 13 and 16 year old boys to play basketball with another set of annoying group of two 14 year olds and one 18 year old. My own little world plus who ever else shows up, without adult supervision.

Ummm.....yeah, could we please move to a secluded house in the woods. Nope instead I get to stay here and work on loving my neighbor. I do umm but can I skip the who is my neighbor and just have it be the two houses next to each other!!! UGH... I remember as kid not getting that passage. I'm trying okay, trying, but yeesh.

I guess I am Inappropriate for most secular homeschoolers

I've had a journey in life that most children haven't been blessed with. I grew up in a conservative home. I had the Bible read to me daily or I read it a loud to my family. Every night but I didn't read the entire Bible from what I recall.

My life wasn't just my family bring in the Vietnam war and you'll find that my Dad was one of many that were lead to this country by orders. He went in 1967-1968. By 1969 my life began at Ft. Monmouth. This was what I was born into. By 1969 he was going back again, by some intervention he would have his prior service to Korea of 1961 count and not have to do this tour.

I vaguely remember in first grade a bracelet on a girl that I sat near and tried to take off. It was jade, her skin color was darker than mine, other than that I don't have a memory more of this family but they lived with us I am fairly certain but only briefly.

My life continued in Taiwan for two years. My growth in who God was grew in the Catholic school I attended and on the weekends the protestant chapel I attended. The pastor lived across the road from me. God had always been a part of my life and the Bible readings and prayer continued at night.

Fast forward to my ninth grade year and I was taught about the evolution theory, I was also taught about different theories of the six days of creation. My mind wasn't made up as to how all this came together.

Once again Vietnam had been introduced to me in sixth grade by another family living with me. Through some choices made by this family my life was put into a turmoil of leaving for Korea and leaving behind my mother and sister while they dealt with their issues. My closest friend was also dealing with life changing events as her parents went through a divorce.

I was starting tenth grade and was taking biology with a man who strongly believed all that he had been taught about evolution. At this point in life, I was put in a battle I am not sure I was ready for. He fed into the life of children theories that were taught to him and put in the science book, I wasn't sure what I was doing but I really wanted answers.

He and I did go head to head with questions and he was thinking more at the things I introduced to him. Years later I would talk to this man from Korea once again. Years later the facts came together for me with Ken Ham asking, "Were you there?" how simple a question to ask my teacher.

So yes, I am inappropriate for most secular homeschoolers. I laugh as my daughter tells me stories of how her homeschool life has effected her church life and how her church life spills over to her theater life. She's a mix of cluelessness and open mouth, but she loves you really she might not like you but this kid is hysterical to listen too from my perspective. I adore her and I usually agree with her from a Biblical perspective but we are both still learning.

As I look at my life and from what I have come from, it's been a journey. How did I come to hold onto a six day creation theory.....well I wasn't there, but I can read a history book, and believe it was only the turn of the earth. Many creationist have different theories but for me this one is believable and what was written how you interpret a day in the Hebrew. Right? It was written in Hebrew....well anyway..... I still have some studying to do. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B98ycm5kH0E

Monday, January 13, 2014

Flashback 25 years ago....

Time Flies!! 25 years ago, I was thinking next month, Feb. (no it was March of 1989..)  I would be in Florida. My daughter is busy planning her senior trip there for yes next month Feb. 2014. Guess I am wondering what I am doing so close to the state of Florida. Weird where life takes you!! I am hoping there is enough work to keep us here until at least Peter graduates, but I don't know how the government works. I only know the Army life growing up. Someone put me in a different ballgame.

Like I was at Eastern College.....25 years ago, someone thought I'd make a good manager, we did get to Florida, but keeping score was not my thing, I hated it because I wanted to watch the game. I was glad to be there, but really wanted to be playing softball, not managing the who, what, where, and when.

It took a lot of work to be able to make that trip, but I failed of all things Art class that year. College at least from where I see it is where your skills or strengths are looked at and found by professors who may want you to do something.  The gym teacher wanted me to do a number of things, my art teacher wanted me to focus on my painting.

I made choices. I chose not to be a runner for the school. I chose to manage the softball team. I left my artist paper in the hands of an upperclassman and left for Florida. The art teacher gave me an F on the paper, with a D in Bible I was put on academic probation. Overpriced was what I felt about this college, so I went back to the community college and finished my degree in Early Childhood.

I loved where I worked, I had started my senior year in highschool, but it came with a price, I didn't get to play softball in spring of 1987 because I wanted to work at Kings Kids Learning Center, more than play ball.

There are certain things that stand out in my mind and 25 years ago in February 1989 is when I met a guy....yep, the Dad of the daughter planning the trip for February 2014....TIME FLIES.

Friday, January 10, 2014

It's Time to Light the Lights

Oh my friend inspired me to write about yes, the MUPPETS.  Do you remember when the Muppets first happened?? I do, I was in second grade and that little weekly reader talked about THE MUPPPETS. I am sure if you google you can find the first show. The Muppets have been a part of my life since I was in second grade but right after second grade I would have to take a break from any of the shows because I was headed overseas, and so for my 3rd and 4th grade of life, NO MUPPETS.

There is one Muppets movie that I remember the excitement when my sister saw the commercial. She loved Miss Piggy. In this movie they add a special effect (yes this was the 80's) Miss Piggy has bubbles coming from HER NOSE. She's underwater, and swimming.

The Muppets have added so much to our entertainment. My highschool years of singing, "The Rainbow Connection". All my friends in the Muppet gang, and more were part of my growing up years.

Yoda, who could forget the brilliance of this puppet and all the things the art work added to in the Star Wars series of the 80's. Something was lost when the creator of these characters died. I cried, knowing Jim Henson was gone and with him many happy memories of creatures.

Somewhere along the way, I went behind the scenes and learned about the power in the creation part of muppeting. I also learned how much work it is. A full time job if one is to film it the way one wants to, getting those creatures to become human is not as easy as they make it. Hours must be spent to get things the way one creates the being in ones mind.

I've only done a few shows with puppets, it isn't easy. I started and realized the power in puppets when I was about 17 and working at a pre-school. You can terrify a three year old with just the sight of a puppet. Being able to come out from behind a puppet show and share with the child what is real and what is fake is a gift. You can't see this from a television screen.  The key of a child overcoming this fear is often their relationship with you. Puppets can be a great teaching tool.

One of the wonders of puppetry is they can speak another language with the hit of a switch. You just need to know the timing of the tape (ahem now that would be CD or whatever you use.) Although my puppeteers could speak Korean and English, I could not. I found local Bible stores and purchased CD's in Korean. Our puppets did the entertaining to their own language, as we visited orphanages and anywhere asked to perform.

One I was in USA, I learned of Puppet Productions and One Way Street (now called Creative Ministry Solution). I enjoyed visiting Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta. Colleges have puppet degrees? yes, they do. For years I stood in front of a puppet screen watching puppeteers achieve the levels of puppeteers. All this began with probably Sesame Street, but that scholastic reader in second grade first told me about The Muppets. Time to find that first show on youtube.