BAH HUMBUG!!!

I just feel like life is flying by, and I am kinda down about it. There is no stopping time, it just passes. Oh I feel the time passing and wonder what I do with it. Did I spend it well?

Today I went up in the attic....no there weren't any family heirlooms up there, my house has stuff up there, but nothing to rummage through and feel that homey remember when box. I just felt the need to get one space organized and I did.

Husband is away again and I am alone with the children, the page in life has turned where one is headed to college after the holidays, but still living at home. The rough patches in life.

ummm yeah so TIME FLIES

I am in shock, September 2012 is almost gone!!! I feel like August was torn from the calendar and thrown away, I WANT MY MONTH BACK!!! Ah well as I always say, Time Flies. It just seems to have flown a bit faster than normal.

My Karen left for Madagascar, Sarah started her Junior year, Jay began 8th grade, and Peter 5th..... Nathan I pulled from pre-school. With a new program and teachers I just can't see leaving him there. He also has started speech two times a week. Somewhat bogus, it the stuff he does with some of the preschool lessons I do with him. I'm not satisfied and am ready to stop wasting my time, energy, and money on that program.

Sarah is at Veritas once again being homeschooled....well I don't really say she is homeschooled, it's more like classes. Similar to a college setting.

Jay is attending Classical Conversations Challenge A, and his teacher is relaxed about things that in other Classical Conversations I felt were too intense. I am enjoying what I am seeing so far. He's on the soccer team. He also still attends writing workshop and other classes at the Trinity School, when he can on Monday. Now that soccer is almost over, we will focus a bit more on his creative stories. He's taking Christian Film and two hours of Bible Quizzing for co-op. He's also in Boy Scouts and Bible Quizzing is complicating his hiking schedule (ahem or his Dad's hiking schedule.)

Peter is back in the Foundations program for Classical Conversations. He attends classes on Monday and Wednesday with Trinity. His last year as a Cub Scout, he'll be a Boy Scout in 2013. He is doing well enough, but there is room for improvement.

Nathan is busy with speech. He goes two times a week. I pulled him out of preschool, and speech is just playing, I don't feel it is anything he couldn't get at home.

School Started August First

I have to say something, I CAN'T STAND SCHOOL STARTING IN AUGUST!!! Okay there it is, and if you know me well I say it every year, but really this year is the worst because we started AUGUST 1ST. Has the Georgia Board of Education totally lost their marbles. Or have I been here so long that I don't notice the rest of the United States is turning toward this also. I have a tip, DON'T DO IT!!!

It just is too soon, there is enough wind down before you wind back up as a teacher, I love September in the North, I don't know about the south because, I don't get to enjoy the newness of school anymore, it's just kinda slammed into me.

So there is my vent, as I begin one class today, Bible. That's it, and it's only because Bible Quizzing begins.

Is it REALLY that TIME again??

Yes, it is and every year I am shocked, because I live in the south, this year it once again comes as no surprise but I still have NOT adjusted. School begins AUGUST 1ST. Gone are the days of looking forward to this month. Sigh and YUCK, so not wanting it to be the time, but alas there is not denying it, I must prepare.

First thing I must do is clean out my daughter's room, she has until August 1st but it isn't getting done, so I will start with the desk. And get back to this post later.

When Worlds Collide and Transport Time

Was it really 16 plus years ago that I was there, in my mind it was yesterday. My 16 year old daughter took me on an adventure today. In it we were to get clothes, but it began with Sonic, a tipped over milkshake and well, just another day.

The first house we went to, she went inside and I remained in the van. (She knew the woman she was purchasing clothes from.) I remember to do list and one thing I needed to do was call an old friend, A GRANDMA!!! REALLY I enjoyed my conversation and we plan on having a reunion for our little group. My daughter was the baby I left, Ft. Riley with, in utero, many of these people haven't met her. My friend was telling me about her new Grandson and I just am at wonder as I watch my friends turn this page in life. I got off the phone and my daughter and I spoke about her latest bargain finds and she continued to ask about my friends from Ft. Riley. I smiled as she said, You are the youngest. Of course I had to get off the phone to GPS our 2nd shop.

Our adventure continued as we stopped at a house for sale, this time she wanted me with her as she didn't know the woman selling her clothes. We went in and began shopping and looking at her other items online. We continued talking and then her husband came in and we continued to talk, and yep, it is a small world. They were moving, Airforce to FT. RILEY, KANSAS!!! Wow, small world, Sarah was able to keep up somewhat and remember from photos the first place I told them to visit a town that was like Little Sweden....where to live, first choice on base, but they would only get 800 square feet. um check it out before you say no....and JUNCTION CITY..um well it isn't that bad, but ummm yeah, I'd pick Manhattan before JC. First choice on base.

They brought the memories back, many of which I didn't have time to share but my mind went to. The long drive on base from Manhattan, oh LOL swerving to miss one raccoon and hitting two..I know sounds morbid, and at the time it was but now it's kinda funny. Living on top of the hill in the pathetic 2nd LT. housing. Long walks, long talks, friends that were doing the same thing we were, living at Ft. Riley, Kansas.

He's my son

Family

Family, long since learned about, but as I went to a family reunion this past weekend. I smiled, I cried, I laughed, and I remembered as I watched and listened to children play. "Where did Grandma and Grampa come from?" "The Airport, I just picked them up." It wasn't the answer I was really wanting but it is what I remember. I eventually figured it out, that these were the people who had my Dad, and he grew up with, the mystery of life from the eyes of a child, we were all children once and had our own thoughts as to family. For me figuring it out was a process.

20 years.... I love you!!

20 years and I smile thinking of all the memories since I said, "I do." Airborne, baby names, packing boxes, silly fights, making up, laughing, crying, knowing, children, more children, what were we thinking. Life goes on, and on and on, there aren't many dull moments just a moment before the change in the tide. Mostly the love that grows in a house, that I call my tent. Camping out waiting for that place to call home, for now it is here.

Remembering the animals, the houses, the places we have been together the names and faces we remember or forget and the other reminds. The intertwining of life together for 23 1/2 years of memories, that one can bring to mind if one can remember the proper nouns or adjectives to jolt the other persons memory. LOL the struggle as children enter the scene and try to speak their notes and babblings that bring the topic completely to a different level. No wonder sometimes we just lose it with any number of emotions. The frustration of communication and living together with so many people are so humorous.

Thinking back to 20 years ago and how simple things were, then big things are little now as we realize what is really important. US. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. Grow Old With Me the Best is Yet to Be.....HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Graduation of my Oldest Child

Wow, that day has come and gone and I realize it is something a parent has to experience to understand. I began seeing parents in a total different way. I spoke to one Mom and she said the hardest was her oldest, she has since had one more fly from the nest and had her daughter graduate in 2012 also. She told me she cried as her oldest went off to college, and again with the next and every time they leave. I am sure Mom's all over the world do the same as we come to that year where our child is to go off into the world, or you cry at home wondering if they will ever leave. Either way, it is a different experience, one that I tried as much as possible to prepare myself for. Another Mother expressed the frustration of her husband not listening to her, and I asked her if he was not there, perhaps like me he found his brain at graduation taking it all in, but in another place and time, perhaps the day that child was born and you welcomed them not really understanding the journey that lay ahead, as my brain fast forwarded onto her toddler days, school days, and yes her school days held so many memories of homeschooling I found myself lost in memories of her in a Prairie primer study, the many days of reading stories of learning myself and loving learning right along with here. Parents have a different perspective on this day, each has their own emotions and feelings and memories. I then looked back to my own life of 25 years ago and tried to recall what it was like to be 18 and taking on the world for the first time, what would I be when I grew up, the college journey. The uncertainty of life was hitting my daughter smack in the face and I understood her tears of frustration as her life just seemed to be heading in no direction, nothing was happening. Remembering back it was my Mother that pushed me into a direction by signing me up for college courses. I had tried this route and found myself having to find my daughter a direction she wanted and that was to explore the world first,again I looked back at my life at age 18 and found that I also longed to explore this world, but never got the chance. Once again I found myself dealing with my own emotions knowing that something had to be done soon, in order for peace to once be in my home. Dealing with my husbands emotions of wondering and saying it is time, and getting him to order the plane tickets that would take our daughter far away from us but in the place I know she needs to be to find her direction in life. It's been a journey, and it's a new beginning, a new page in life. I love that kid. Happily joining the parents who understand, kicking a child from the nest. Fly with time!!! Not to soon but fly!!

Memories of a Tooth

UGH!!! My entire day and thoughts and ugh, one fall in the wrong direction, not really a fall, a lean, I didn't fall all the way, I caught myself, but OH NO!!! I did it, I fell on the case of my Mac Computer and crick, that sound that I haven't heard but a few times in my life...and immediately I knew, do not swallow there is tooth in your mouth and it is not attached. A slight chip and a bit of a fat lip, leaning down to see what show my daughter was watching. Oh little piece of tooth I so miss you in my mouth. How many years have I had you? My daughter at first was concerned and then when she saw how little was actually missing she left me, she left me mid sentence, "I had that tooth for thirty..." and she didn't want to know how many years, she didn't care, she was even annoyed. I have had that tooth for a long time, it's been a long journey for that tooth. I don't know when it came in but I remember that this tooth is one that had to be capped when I was 3 or 4. My parents (now remember this is back in the day before Mommy Forums, chat, computers.) Dating myself now, but they didn't know that you don't let a kid sleep with a bottle. (I was breastfed in the days when breastfeeding was not the in thing to do, so my Mom was ahead of her time.) I blame my baby brother for coming early, so somehow I ended up with a bottle and bed. This caused my two front teeth to rot. I swallowed on cap in the dentist office and my Dad was the one who brought me. Once capped my two front teeth were an eye catcher, or eye sore. Yes it was my baby tooth, but this tooth that I chipped was underneath it. Years later, I must of been about 7 or 8, I was at my Grandparents house chewing on a piece of candy and the cap came off. The tooth must of been lose and I lost it shortly after that. My Dad would do the old string and pull, but I wasn't too fond of this method of removing my teeth. Doing the Math, I'd say this tooth was 35 years old, but chipping it brought back some funky memories and seeing how my daughter didn't want to hear it, I thought maybe someone else would get a chuckle or a memory of a tooth. Not something I think about every day.

Flanders Field and Poppies

"Poppies, aren't they a drug? Poppie seeds can't you smoke them?" Disturbing, as to where my 9 year old son received this information I do not know. I do know I am glad I took the half hour to hour to read him the book. "In Flanders Field". I learned a bunch also. Where this battle took place and numerous other facts that are swarming and overwhelming my brain. World War 1 another time in history, a time I don't know that much about. In Flanders Fields By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918) Canadian Army In Flanders Fields the poppies blow Between the crosses row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields. A book well worth checking out from your Library. "In Flanders Field" (The Story of the Poem by John McCrae)Written by Linda Granfield

I LIVE ....

Memories of a little blond boy who was only 4 when so much transition in his life occurred. I am not sure what happened but all of the sudden I panicked about what he would do if he was lost. Would he remember an address? So I began to explain to him that he lived in the United States of America, in the state of Georgia, in the town of Lincolnton, on Bethany Church Hill Road. We have long since moved from this address, but I still can hear his little boy voice saying this. Does your child know their address?

Christmas 2010

It's a different Christmas this year. I guess it all started 17 years ago. My husband and I were living in this apartment in Lawton, Oklahoma. We bought a real tree, and for months we vacuumed needles, upon moving out, we still were picking up needles, hoping to remove a possible fine for not cleaning well enough. Our second year of marriage we found the perfect artificial tree, breaking our budget we bought it. It looked great, year after year, and looked real. Every year we seemed to get wiser about how to put it up, wrapping it in saran wrap color coded, it was a real effort and took a long time to get it looking the way we liked. Last year, it seemed our reason for purchasing this tree had come to an end. Our tree after 16 years of being put up and taken down, branches spread by a family of 6....was shedding it's needles. Once again our reason for not buying a real tree was happening by our fake tree. This being the second year of debate, the tree was put on free cycle. Our plan was to hit the after Christmas tree sales. I would see a tree but being 8 months pregnant, didn't want to deal with the box. Our family of now 7 has yet to put up a Christmas tree, maybe 2010 we will. This year we had no tree to put up. So here it is December 23rd, and we have not decorated. We'll head off to Grandma and Pop pop's house and most likely decorate their tree. In years past we have gone out to the field and cut down a tree. I will never forget the year, my Dad wanting to save the life of a tree, bought a tree for $5 at Lowes, we hauled the tree out into the field, then later returned with all the grands and had them "cut down" the tree.....only the oldest knew it was a fraud...but Pop made her pose for a photo anyway. Christmas morning the children gather and remember the true meaning of Christmas. They sing Happy Birthday Jesus as they walk down in birth order....guess Nate will change things this year, all too soon he'll be walking down those stairs. Then they gather in the living room for Pop to read them the Christmas story, usually he tears up with emotion at this point. From there we will gather in the large room and open gift. Yes every year my husband and I give three gifts to each child remember the gifts of the Wise Men.....Gold, frankincense and myrrh....at least we hope they remember the Wise Men who searched for 2 years to find the Christ Child. Long ago I remember hearing this story by Paul Harvey....(I love hearing him on the radio and have sat many a time waiting for "the rest of the story." Big size The Man and the Birds by Paul Harvey The man to whom I'm going to introduce you was not a scrooge, he was a kind decent, mostly good man. Generous to his family, upright in his dealings with other men. But he just didn't believe all that incarnation stuff which the churches proclaim at Christmas Time. It just didn't make sense and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. He just couldn't swallow the Jesus Story, about God coming to Earth as a man. "I'm truly sorry to distress you," he told his wife, "but I'm not going with you to church this Christmas Eve." He said he'd feel like a hypocrite. That he'd much rather just stay at home, but that he would wait up for them. And so he stayed and they went to the midnight service. Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then went back to his fireside chair and began to read his newspaper. Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound...Then another, and then another. Sort of a thump or a thud...At first he thought someone must be throwing snowballs against his living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow. They'd been caught in the storm and, in a desperate search for shelter, had tried to fly through his large landscape window. Well, he couldn't let the poor creatures lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter, if he could direct the birds to it. Quickly he put on a coat, galoshes, tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light, but the birds did not come in. He figured food would entice them in. So he hurried back to the house, fetched bread crumbs, sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs, and continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them...He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around them waving his arms...Instead, they scattered in every direction, except into the warm, lighted barn. And then, he realized that they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me...That I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Because any move he made tended to frighten them, confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him. "If only I could be a bird," he thought to himself, "and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to safe, warm...to the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them so they could see, and hear and understand." At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind. And he stood there listening to the bells - Adeste Fidelis - listening to the bells pealing the glad tidings of Christmas. And he sank to his knees in the snow.

Happy Birthday Nate

Three years, Three years old.....TIME FLIES. You are the highlight of our time here in Warner Robins. That quiet year spent in Kathleen wasn't so quiet. We packed up and left for this house (my tent) I have long since pitched this place but realized it was for a moment in time we would be living here.

That first 9 months of living here was exhausting. I was so tired being pregnant. Your first year went by so quickly and then I had my eyes done on February 2nd, I could see you almost perfectly by the 6th. I missed your first birthday vision wise, but I could hear it. Karen made you a teddy bear cake.

Your second birthday we spent with angel food cake and you snitched the first one, we didn't need a second cake but it was made anyway.

Today is your third birthday. Superbowl Sunday!! We'll get you pizza and a chocolate cake from Publix. Happy Birthday little boy.

Remember God I am your favorite kid...

A long standing joke, but I am serious. God loves me. I am His favorite kid. He is there guiding me through life and speaking to me. Listening is my job. I guess I am wondering what is on the next page.

Waiting to find out. I am exited but also holding my breath.

Marriage

Marriage is not about trying to get someone to change it is about changes. Years pass and the twist and turn for how you wanted things to be and how they are,happen. How you chose to live those changes and the choices you make form your marriage. It can be the most incredible journey.

Animals, those pets you pick up along the way, the names that are understood between a spouse. Remember the white cat, the one that was there for only a brief period of time? The one the old lady and man who lived a few doors down in the Manhattan house gave to us? Do you remember? They taught me so much about washing old pillows and putting the feathers into vats and drying them out and using them again for other items. They gave us that white cat. I wonder if you do remember that old white cat and how hard it was to say good-bye to her. She had lukemia and the girl next door, I have long since forgotten her name, Keri perhaps. I remember her husband and what a jerk he was. I remember saying good-bye to the cat to protect her world of loved persians. Now one else can share that memory with me. There are so many more. Do you remember? Remember? Our many memories together.

Marriage is not about changing someone, it is about enjoying the changes that come your way and enjoying the process of time and watching how things become. Grow old with me the best is yet to be.