You get to Live with It

I am not a neighbor type of person. I am not a people person. Rarely do I really want to take the time, energy, and money to form relationships. When I do find people I enjoy, I am there. I am not the military wife. I grew up in that environment but I didn't like it, nor did I want to be part of it. Trying to grasp people and the who, what, where, and when. Getting screwed because someone is a jerk. I just would rather not have to be part of the entire business but 21 years ago, I signed up for that. Later my husband resigned.

Welcome to the semi-civilian world. Finding myself all over again in a world where, I just don't get it, things have to be explained to me that the average person knows about. I am doing better at asking questions and learning.

Stepping out of my comfort zone is living in a neighborhood. I grew up on a semi secluded piece of property where kids flocked but it was my world they were flocking to, so my Mother ruled it. Dealing with living in a neighborhood is a pain in the butt. I have lived in one for six years now, I am still wanting my secluded area. The lack of control over who shows up and I have to deal with so that my kids can play, and ahem yes my older child babysit these children....and then more kids show up. Ummm..... yeah where do I draw the line.

My Mother was pretty good at ruling but she didn't have a huge age gap, and I don't remember incidence happening without my Dad being able to be there. Oh there was the issues, and his way of handling it was to go ahead and spank the bully. I'm with ya Dad, enough is enough, a good swift spanking was well deserved by that kid.

Amazing daughter handles things very well, a huge part of me just wants to continue hibernating in my own little world, but my four year old brings me out into his, once again I am in the sandbox. Watching things form, and watching relationships.

 I get to live with it, my own little world ahem.....it just doesn't take a village dear Mom whose a real pain in the butt supporting her children instead of another adult that has dealt with her children for 5 plus hours and watched as my own daughter babysits an extra child that was thrown at her, (so that this mother and her can go hang out.) while she ditches her annoying 13 and 16 year old boys to play basketball with another set of annoying group of two 14 year olds and one 18 year old. My own little world plus who ever else shows up, without adult supervision.

Ummm.....yeah, could we please move to a secluded house in the woods. Nope instead I get to stay here and work on loving my neighbor. I do umm but can I skip the who is my neighbor and just have it be the two houses next to each other!!! UGH... I remember as kid not getting that passage. I'm trying okay, trying, but yeesh.